Cougar or not cougar that is the question ?

If you look at the definition of cougar it says woman of 40+ who dates or has relationships with men18 years or more younger than herself.
Well in this age of equality it is quite outrageous that the Cougar should be perceived so negatively, maybe Susan Sarandon the cougar queen so far with her youngest partner at 31 years younger than her, topping Madonna, Sharon Stone, Robin Wright, to name but a few. Let’s hope Susan Sarandon manages to help opinions change.

« in the past women had to partner up with a man who could support her, now women are quite financially independent, so we partner up with someone because – radical thought-we like him. » Susan Sarandon.

However the origin of the word Cougar is actually slang, and was first used in the early 2000, some say the that is it the feminin equivalent to man puma, (expression none has ever heard maybe) either way it is perceived as negative and that is the thing, why ?

Some therapist seem to think that the Cougar phenomenon is due to the marriage squeeze, the fact that single middle-aged women having a shrinking pool of potential partners, plus today women are more and more financially independent, giving them more power over choice, decision and means. In many cases men and women find being in the company or in a relationship with a younger partner rewarding and surely that should be enough to keep everyone quite !
The hardest and most precious thing to find and the thing that everyone wants is and has always been, love right!
So it should really boil down to the two people concerned and them alone, to know what is good or not so good for them.
There was a case with a couple, that had a 28 year age gap between the woman and the guy, they loved each other deeply and truly, they had great times together, they were close and enjoyed spending time together, they actually had alot in common, they were together for a year but the pressure from the young man’s family was so strong that they had to break up, the parents even tried to to put a restraint order on the woman, but they were happy and she was looking out for him and he loved her, what a waste.

In some of Tennessee Williams work the subject of the older woman having a relationship with the younger guy has often been explored, only T. Williams focused more on the notion of youth slipping away with every sip of each cocktail, as she tries to cling to some form of freshness, the character desperatly trying to hang on to something that she knows will disappear. The writer questions the process of becoming undesirable.

The Cougar is more like Cleopatra taking care of how she looks, feeling empowered by her sociale status. To restrict the Cougar to being just vain and needing youger lovers to entertain her idea of disolving youth is just rude.

However either way you look at this, seems like the lady has to pay the price of social awareness, if she dates an older man she is percieved as a “Gold digger” and if she dates the younger guy then she is trying to hang on to youth, either way she is in the wrong, in this evolving world of rights and equality all this just seems so backwards.

So I guess the message is, go out  there love, cause no pain and then love again!