The dating world has it become a market

The dating market of 2020  leaves us all wondering if have hearts have become goods that are to be traded to the highest bidder, profile photos used as branding to attract a greater part of the market share, is this really what things have come to? So many singles once a relationship has come to an end say, “I am back on the market” but just what exactly is that market and who are the players and how does it all work?

The real market

For a start there are a vast amount of market minded dating books, that for a price will help you understand some of the tricks of the trade to the dating world here are some of the top selling book titles: The way of the superior man, A spiritual guide to the mastering of challenges for women, work and sexual desire, The dating playbook for men, and so the list goes on. These books clearly convey the meaning of the words “dating market” as they are indeed  products, as in objects that can be purchased and possessed, appealing to the demand and thereby creating the need (everyone needs a little love sometimes) at times these books can also be accompanied by live sessions with a relationship coach who is no other than the author in person (monopole of the market product) these sessions are scheduled and can be had for an additional fee of course, this clearly illustrates the supply and demand formula at play. Create the need, then supply the goods and there you have your dating market

Shopping around

Singles today can be heard saying “I am shopping around at the moment” meaning, they have signed up to multiple online dating sites ( some free some not) with our passionate enthusiastic singles on a dopamine rush to get the best deal, they start to impulsively swipe and like. Note here that some studies over the years have shown that the number of swipes to the left or the right can have a positive impact on your brain, as you feed your glandes of pleasure with the thought of what might come from your uncontrollable swiping spree and the vision of the potential vast choice of future dates to come. Your mind has become a contented intoxicated mush waiting for the reward factor to kick in.

Old school

Back in the 19th century advanced dating was more geographical, and ratio based, combined with some logic and basic statistics, if you wanted more choice then you simply moved to a bigger pool, thus increasing your probabilities of an encounter and love. Each player now faced with an expanded range of both choice and possible partners, being in a bigger town also meant that the common benefits included a far greater number of places to go out, things to do, events to attend and parties to go to, consequently increasing one again the probability of meeting that special someone. Bigger towns also meant higher pay, this economical increase carried an immediate impact on the individual and social profiles of potential partners, combined with a hint of equality to the dating game as women were making some real money too. Thus, increasing the benefits and openings for all the single players, and so thing have been following a natural evolution since then.

Then came today! Our modern world with its hi-tech tools and brand-new style and approach of dating , and here we are in the virtual, digital age of online dating, in this world where you can shop online for food and almost any other commodity and have it delivered to your door, the logical and next progressive step is of course, to shop online for the perfect partner, your dream partner is out there and just under your fingertips, and now we start with the first step towards a digital market place where you can start narrowing your options, but do any of us know what we really want.

The fatal flaw

If you sit down and think hard about every single quality and detail that you would like to have in your perfect partner, it is just impossible, trying to design the perfect soulmate. Firstly, we need to know who we are and what we individually truly want for ourselves and although, yes interaction with other people helps us to discover our intimate and at times hidden abilities and selves. This interaction, exchange of perceptions consequently creates perspective for developing and improving, sometimes even discarding some of least likeable attributes. This growth comes from our interaction with other beings enabling us to expand so much more on our personality and character, and when we are reduced to “shopping for the significate other half ” becomes a new mission of self-achievement, here as humans we need to stop and honestly ask ourselves, who has the true ability to predict the chemistry between two people? Not an easy one to answer, no because we are all constantly shifting, going from one need, craving to another, but we are human, we still need to acknowledge the human factor it is not all consumer-to-goods!

This notion of creating a shopping a list of the perfect ingredients for the perfect partner is insane, however people sign up to the online dating sites with the aim of doing just that, because they are boing told that dating world is just another market place.

Once the world of contemporary economics had worked it’s magic back in the 1970’s, when you became newly single people could be heard to say “ I am back on the shelf ” referring to yourself as a product on a market, today singles have gone from the shelf straight to the market, “I am back on the market” now referring to the  world of supply-demand an economical system created where advertising had a key role to play, with the adverts you created the need and at the same time you supplied the goods, easy right! So, lets transpose this to the dating world, what do you do with your selfie, you supply to the demand, by using your own image to promote you! But are we commodities to be consumed or tested and then returned to the market like spoilt goods? This is where we need to draw the line, as we the people do have our say on how this market should be run as we are its soul.

Sexual market value

This logic is based on the foundational idea of capitalism, which is that the market is unfailing impartial and correct that it’s mechanism of supply and demand and value exchange, guarantee that everything is fair, this when applied to human relationships is dangerous, and consequently implies the idea that someone is and can be held responsible when it is unfair. This leads to feelings of frustration and anger on the dating market and is often expressed in forms of misconduct and insulting behaviour.

Dating apps and the future

Dating apps have progressed along with the use of the data acquired to make statistical analysis more consumer user focused, in 2020 the choice of dating apps has exploded but is this really for the better, the human brain is not intended to take in and preference hundreds to thousands of faces per hour, effectively this can lead singles to see each other as merchandises, interchangeable products to be had and discarded. Daters think they are seeing the markets vast choice available to them, when in reality all they are seeing is what the algorithm has selected for them.  So feeling that you are in control of the market is wrong, the market is just math and statistics based on odds from data you have put into the system, just like in real life, it is all based on odds, but more importantly it all comes down to, two people and the chemistry that happens when they meet. As you read this your future partner could even be your neighbour. Don’t be impressed by the market, remain true the human heart, listen to your instincts and gut feelings, stay connected to the human factor.